i think i broke his heart today

i told him he shouldn't stay
and now hes crying his heart out to me
and i just dont know what i am feeling
life has a way of bringing people into your life
when I saying goodbye to one
I was saying hello to another
yet somehow some way I am asking him to leave
thousands of miles seperates....
and bodies of waters seperates....
our hearts physically
yet hes right here next to me.


i love him dont you see
hes what i have been wanitng
and what i have been needing
and everything i have been looking for
yet i want him to leave
hes pouring his heart out to me
when i close my eyes his are what i see
smile
chin
cheecks
grin


i can hear him say my name
like the smell of sweet perfume
his heart cryies out to me
i love him dont you see
i am half empty again
and he has the rest of me
days and nights go by
and he.....
he's on the other side of the water


i love him dont you see yet hes crying his heart out to me
how can it be
that he has my heart living oceans away
too many fairtail stores of love and life
i wasnt looking for him
he was looking for me
such a sad day
turn into our love eternity
cant you hear him
hes crying his heart out to me
i love him cant you see
i love him cant you see

Insecure (I am not really sure if thats a good title)

See it’s the frustration that sets like wet concreat

The agonizing cry of lambs

Even the strong werestly with the fact

They aren’t good enough

Am I too big, he wont like me, he cant possible love me
I gotta make sure my bang fall just right

It’s midnight man with the napoleon complex who finds wrong in everyone else

Hes the successful stock broker whos sperm donor was never around

But they both always  seems to be found amongst the ladies

I smilling but I am slowly drowning into this place where I dwell with my thoughts

He sees the world thru the eyes of a beaten and aboused child

So he can’t help it help it - hes always on defense

See he's just  trying to make in this cold cold world of 
“everythings gonna be okay - eveythings gonna be okay"
 ....when it really isn’t

I suck sometimes – cant get right and I keep screwing up. 
But u know what its all right.

It’s the women who only wants her man

You’ll catcha that in a moment

He can't commit and  u need commitment 
.........the grass is always greener

Theres something inside her that blocks the thought of realizing that

He belongs to someone else

Its hard to fight with yourself
Trying to forulate the words in the correct order
so that the outsiders will understand
whats inside
 I look to find that peace of mind
where there is peace in my mind


When you've heard your crazy a thosand of times
Somehow you become crazy in your own mind
I am not good enough
trying to reach that mark
contentment is my peace of mind. 

(I am not done yet.... )

Its Starting to Rain

(I wrote this for a friend who was having a hard time finishing one of his songs. It was raining outside when we were talking. He was in Michigan and I was in DC. But I wanted to be in Michigan.... I wanted to be with him…..)

Its Starting to rain Dreary outside

The sky so blue And then I turn and look

at he eyes that makes me smile

And I know its starting to rain

Feel me when I say

Its starting to rain

Hold me close and tell me ur mind

Cause its starting to rain

Hair Pin - The SEO

There is this weight that I am carrying around

that answers the question as to what went down.

A hair pin holds the lock to the key heart of my heart.

One pull from your voice sends me into a state of mass confusion.

Should I stay should I go?

What the hell do I do with all of these feelings…..

Rory

Stop this thump in my heart

The feeling that I pushed away

Acted as if it never exsisted and now its back 2 stay.

I don't understand why or even know how it got here.

But its back to stay.

Stay for sometime.

I don't know how long or even why its back.

That did I do to deserve it. …..But It just hurts.

Hurts so much I wish it would just die!

Its… its like a a piece of me Is broken-and-gone

but now this piece of me is back and now it hurts

Dreams of your smile and that stupid laugh

I… I wanted….I wanted you to stay.

I love you……………

Didn't meant to tell you to leave......

12.8.2005