A day in the life....of a fat gurl

oooh hes cute

 dark

 chocholate

 and thick 

just like i like em

oh my hes walking over

hello i say softly he approaches 

i look deeply in his eyes hanging on to his every breath 

anticipating the next words

how are u -----fine 

Whats your name

Simone

I am Eddie

......Eddie wants to get to know my best friend

damn it happend again 

a day in the life of big gurl

i am the dude's best friend

a hommie never the lover friend

do u have these in another size 

you see i be having trouble with my thigh

nope u dont i understand my friend

fashion is only made for the thin

its just another day in the life of a fat gurl

they think there complimenting u when they say 

ur cute for a big gurl 

as if cute only comes in one size

i have had this complex for awhile it just that 

todays the day i had to talk about it

i am tired of hearing you nice and all 

but i think were better off as friends.......

Swine - An Owe to Love

Stop this thump in my heart

The feeling that I pushed away

Acted as if it never exsisted and now its back 2 stay.

I don't understand why or even know how it got here. But its back to stay.

Stay for sometime.

I don't know how long or even why its back.

What did I do to deserve it. …..But It just hurts.

Hurts so much I wish it would just die!

Its… its like a a piece of me Is broken-and-gone but now this piece of me is back and now it hurts

Dreams of your smile and that stupid laugh

I… I wanted….I wanted you to stay.

I love you…………… Didn't meant to tell you to leave......

--Sikan

Heartbreak hurts. But what hurts more is selling yourself short and doing nothing about it.

Mozambique

 Am I this desperate 4 love??

Am I in a single relationship?

No one has time for any one?

Conversations r minimal....

We go to the couch 4 a date.....

Wait.... what page r we on?

So when do I get 2 see you?

Great sex - cold sweats..........

 and then I am back 2 being lonely again?

I am in a single relationship......

Beautiful Dreamer

Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,

Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;

Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,

Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd a way!

Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,

List while I woo thee with soft melody;

Gone are the cares of life's busy throng,

--Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea Mermaids are chanting the wild lorelie;

Over the streamlet vapors are borne,

Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn

Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,

E'en as the morn on the streamlet and sea;

Then will all clouds of sorrow depart,

--Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

(written for me - apparently i fall asleep on the phone a lot)

Unspoken

I read this somewhere and I thought about it for a second and it soooo true. 


To leave tru love unspoken its the quickest way 2 a heavy heart.

A Mistake

The pulse of her emotions flat line as she hears him speak

There he goes again talking the same ole shit

Do is take this for us to be together

You say tomato I say potato

Lets just call this stupid

I mean really are u serious – where is it exactly do they do that?

Cause if you think for one sec I am gonna …..

Oh wait he said something just made a little bit of sense

Hummm never thought about that.

Ummmmmm ahhhhhhh

Yup nope thought he was saying something different

But selfishness always seems to come to come and show its ugly head

You see it can’t be ignored – like the smell of processed kibble and bits on ur shoes……..

Its two am as I sit here at the feet of a best sister girl friend.

I go back and forth on how things were and what things that we did

‘Cause I am trying to figure it all out

She helping to get to understand what just went down

Trying to get me to see that I just didn’t suck

I am so confused about what we were and what went down

And then in the middle of conversation she sums up a year and a half with just two words

A Mistake……(she keeps talking but I cant hear anything but ) .…. A Mistake.…. A Mistake .…. A Mistake .…. A .......Mis......take.…. 

Hummm she may be on to something?!? What was I thinking

Me make a misstate?? Of course not… A year and half mistake??

you were kind  - had a beautiful smile – for goodness sake

Sexy milk chocolate skin and lick-able teeth

U couldn’t have been a mistake – I don’t make those…..

But Honestly……. She was right.

And then it hit me.

A mistake…. Really could I really have thrown a year and a half down the drain

(I mean at 29 I really don’t have that much time)

A mistake I laughed so hard when I realized that she was right

You see I could have be wrong bout you and I --- like

I thought we could have made it.—You were the one who said forever

That we couldn’t make it

The cold sweats and deep breaths made me over look the mistake

U ignore I scream this has gotta be a freaking dream

But I am awake and realize what we had was just a mistake…..

A thought

Today I though about u.
the possibility of something new.
the unknown brought a smile to my face
i felt like i was 6 six again.
.....................my ears hurt (from all this stupid smiling)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Frustration sets like wet concrete
Anger stirs like fresh gossip
Emotions move like a fish out of water
I understand nothing
And become a rookie at the game
This conversation reminds me of what i dont want
But I stand here asking for it
Simplicity has no meaning
And theres no place for feelings
Yet I stand here.........

Knock Knock

Knock!  Knock !

Who is it ??

A familiar face at the door

Knock! Knock!

It's my heart skipping a beat

Maintain your composure!..... don't trip!

Its the bash-full smile that moves acrooss his face

and my lashes cant help but to follow

Your fragrance flirts with the air

I breath in

Soooo whats for dinner?!?